He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
