i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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