Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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