I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
