you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
