How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
