Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
