But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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