these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
