Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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