Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
