Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
