After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
