I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
