but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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