Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
