im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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