U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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