I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
