I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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