1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm like, not good at living.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
