kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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