Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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