fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
