You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
They have beer where we have blood.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
