I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
