even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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