I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
