well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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