she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
honey bunches of taint.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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