..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
