found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
