Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
