You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
