I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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