are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
