We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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