I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
