I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
