I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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