You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
