I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
sex in a hospital.. check
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
