she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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