So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
