we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
