You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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