I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
