Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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