just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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