I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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