I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
